tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38524071494454794882024-03-06T11:47:50.521+10:00Love Gold CoastI Love Social Media, I Love to tweet a lot, I Love to blog about anything and I do it all from the beautiful Gold Coast, Queensland, AustraliaUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger58125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852407149445479488.post-13531687941426374462013-12-13T20:21:00.000+10:002013-12-15T10:15:50.331+10:00Body Corporate Committee Member Oversteps the Line!Body Corporate Committee Member with Master Keys to the building at Beachcomber Resort, are you serious this is #Bullshit check out the Gold Coast Bulletin link below it is very clear a certain member has overstepped the mark as a committee member of the Body Corporate and should step down.<br />
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Not only was he trespassing, Beachcomber management have a letter of complaint from the Security company that this gentleman was also inviting schoolies staying in the building to his Apartment.<br />
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I went to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strata_Title#Body_Corporate" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Wikepedia</a> and found the description of the extent of a committee members responsibilities<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"></span><br />
<h4 style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: none; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: initial; color: black; font-size: 15px; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 0.3em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden; padding-bottom: 0.17em; padding-top: 0.5em;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">
<span class="mw-headline" id="Committee">Committee</span></span></h4>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">Every body corporate has a committee. The committee is like the board of directors of a company. It has specified powers, although generally speaking, it shares power with the general meeting of the body corporate. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: yellow;">The committee's powers are not as extensive as the powers of the average company board of directors. It is responsible for formulating policy for consideration by the body corporate in general meeting. Once the policy is set the committee is responsible for ensuring that its office bearers implement that policy.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">The office bearers of the committee comprise a chairperson, a secretary and a treasurer. Each office bearer has a range of duties. They are answerable to the committee. Because they are volunteers they are usually assisted by a professional administrative officer.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px;">So the questions and actions are here:</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px;">1. Why has this member given himself powers over what his duties as a committee member </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif; line-height: 19px;">are?</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px;">2. Why did this member enter an Owners unit and portray himself as the Owner?</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px;">3. Why does this member have a a Master Key to the building giving him access to every </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px;"> Owners Apartment? </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: yellow;"> (</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: yellow;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif; line-height: 19px;">as </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif; line-height: 19px;">an Owner I would be asking the Body Corporate this question.)</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px;">4. Why does this member believe he is above the law? </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif; line-height: 19px;">The Owners of the Apartment he </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif; line-height: 19px;"> entered should have </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif; line-height: 19px;">him charged with trespass!</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px;">5. The Schoolies who were in the unit should be suing his butt off for the cost of their </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px;"> holiday and the stress!</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px;">6. Other committee members should not be leasing their apartments to prostitutes!</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px;">7. This member has destroyed the hard work of the Management who have worked hard to </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px;"> instill in the </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px;">schoolies </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px;">that balcony </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif; line-height: 19px;">hopping is dangerous and can be fatal!</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif; line-height: 19px;">8. Why was this member inviting schoolies to his Apartment. This member should be stood </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif; line-height: 19px;"> down and forced to sell out and be removed from the </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif; line-height: 19px;">Resort.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif; line-height: 19px;">9. The Owners should be holiday letting their Apartments not leasing them long term, </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif; line-height: 19px;"> Beachcomber is a </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif; line-height: 19px;">Holiday </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif; line-height: 19px;">Resort.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px;">10. The Body Corporate Committee should be Proactive in assisting the Management rather </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px;"> than deciding they </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif; line-height: 19px;">are the law, if there is a problem in an Apartment the Management </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif; line-height: 19px;"> have procedures in place!</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif; line-height: 19px;">Beachcomber Resort Management have worked hard to bring the Resort back to a good reputable standard - that being a nice Resort for families to enjoy their holidays right in the heart of Surfers Paradise only metres from the beach. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px;">Source: </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px;"><a href="http://www.goldcoastbulletin.com.au/news/gold-coast/schoolies-accuse-body-corporate-member-of-balcony-hopping-29-floors-up-on-a-surfers-paradise-highrise-to-check-on-prostitute/story-fnj94idh-1226775352063" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Gold Coast Bulletin</a></span></span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852407149445479488.post-25962957809598346222013-07-14T18:58:00.003+10:002013-07-14T18:59:45.853+10:00Latest Expansions for MantraThe internal restructuring of the Mantra Group continues as the hotel firm confirmed the appointment of an executive director of sales, marketing and distribution.<br />
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Former group director of sales and revenue, Kent Davidson, takes on the role which will centralise Mantra's sales, marketing and revenue streams with the aim of creating a "cohesive approach" as it continues to expand within Asia Pacific.<br />
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The move follows the redundancies of director of marketing, Ken Minnikin, and Luke Jamieson, general manager distribution last month - both long-serving with the company.<br />
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The aim of the reshuffle is to ensure the business is in the "best position" to accommodate growth and to continue to deliver results in a competitive market, according to chief executive Bob East.<br />
"We work in a highly competitive market and our ability to bring strong returns to our owners is because we have a structure and business model in place that is performing very well in current conditions," he said.
"<br />
<br />
The Group will benefit from the expertise of Kent Davidson to oversee the new structure as his overall knowledge of the business - including his involvement with the Mantra brand concept and his early relationship with the Peppers portfolio - is invaluable as we undertake strategic expansion over the next 12 months."
Meanwhile, Davidson insisted that centralisation of key revenue functions would ensure the "best utilisation" of Mantra's financial and human resources.<br />
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"We have an outstanding quality of people across our revenue platforms," he said. "We are at that place in the lifecycle of Mantra Group where it's appropriate to bring them together to realise benefits for all stakeholders."<br />
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The Group plans to grow its 114-property portfolio with a further seven properties in Indonesia and 10 in Australia and New Zealand over the next 12 months.<br />
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Story courtesy of <a href="http://www.travelweekly.com.au/travel-today/news/internal-shift-as-mantra-plots-expansion?utm_source=Cirrus+Media+Newsletters&utm_campaign=044080daef-fe913f1856_57217&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_fe913f1856-044080daef-58117541">Travel Weekly.<b></b></a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852407149445479488.post-23758512322799836822012-05-04T20:37:00.000+10:002012-05-04T20:54:36.229+10:00The Gay Cowboy :)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2h6sToyDbJHrX5qD-9-MUUNbdYAKlI05e52PuGrGm3Bx8UCpTe9vZEy8mDvf52ZaHRfiJ7r3OMuCElq_7HyIFI6711V99fEzaBwZQD50tE-v0T6lu5JNSXxWHJA5kLkQDQrZMfSPwDwKs/s1600/Gay+Cowboy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2h6sToyDbJHrX5qD-9-MUUNbdYAKlI05e52PuGrGm3Bx8UCpTe9vZEy8mDvf52ZaHRfiJ7r3OMuCElq_7HyIFI6711V99fEzaBwZQD50tE-v0T6lu5JNSXxWHJA5kLkQDQrZMfSPwDwKs/s320/Gay+Cowboy.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked together, and the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">You should go into town and kick up your heels." The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"></span><br />
<a name='more'></a>Read more :)<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two o'clock and no hired hand. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">She quietly called him over to her "Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots."He did as she asked, ever so slowly. "Now take off my socks </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">"He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots."Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light."Now take off my bra " Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Then she looked at him and said, "IF YOU EVER WEAR MY CLOTHES INTO TOWN AGAIN, you're fired." </span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852407149445479488.post-64624590894842184492012-01-29T11:50:00.003+10:002012-01-29T12:10:41.826+10:00What the Heck ! do we say on Twitter ?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRIOYe3WOBA3kATd01eX0fFyHo5hFghyUYMy4IWLxWBO88IlBvCDDV9cZ6c7_k-ykAB7NQBC8LlYPVrUsDFDR1Vf7IxYcCfYq2hegxc0a9XMjMlRG05TGmRmdex9nwqWJzYYKBfOtl_Hrc/s1600/twitter33.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRIOYe3WOBA3kATd01eX0fFyHo5hFghyUYMy4IWLxWBO88IlBvCDDV9cZ6c7_k-ykAB7NQBC8LlYPVrUsDFDR1Vf7IxYcCfYq2hegxc0a9XMjMlRG05TGmRmdex9nwqWJzYYKBfOtl_Hrc/s1600/twitter33.png" /></a></div>One of the first questions I'm asked by clients when it comes to creating their social media accounts for them "What the Heck do we say on Twitter". They spot tweets posted by people and companies that they follow and feel the urge to join in the conversation but are unsure how to go about it, "what if we say the wrong thing," or the dreaded thought of "what if we make fools of ourselves" is said to me many times.<br />
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I say "When its time for that long awaited coffee break its time to tweet". Order that Coffee in a big mug, kick back, log onto Twitter and join the conversations that interest you." as you well know by now I have lots of coffee breaks :).<br />
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If you think you've made a fool of yourself in a tweet or a post don't worry the world's not going to cave in, and tomorrow will be another day!<br />
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<a name='more'></a><br />
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I have found Twitter to be one of the friendliest social mediums on earth, its a great place to build your brand, get known out there, be trusted and build your credibility and attract new clients and meet new friends all around the world.<br />
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It's always good to have a strategy in place for your brand before you jump in and become addicted. Twitter has an excellent search feature use it to your advantage and find friends and other like minded tweeters that are tweeting in your arena and follow them for example: if your brand is in Tourism & Hospitality and you like Movies and live theatre to start with search for Tweeters listed under Travel, Hospitality, Hotels, Accommodation, Movies, theatre etc, and follow them. The point of this is you will follow tweeters in your industry, potential clients, as well a others who share your personal passions.<br />
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Once you have started following others in your industry you can start watching their Twitter streams, you can pick up on what they are talking about, what's hot in the industry at the moment, whats popular and whats not. At first watch and listen and you will then get the feel of how this medium is being used by millions of people.<br />
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Next, how do yo want your brand to be known, jot down a list of categories and decide what you most want to talk about and how you want to talk about it. Share your information on these categories regularly and followers who are interested in these categories will share your information with their followers.<br />
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Getting followers, don't worry about that for now, this is where the famous saying comes in to place "Give and you shall receive" start by re tweeting (RT) good information others are sending out spend your coffee time sharing their information highlight their successes to others, believe me there are so many tweeters out there with good information on so many subjects. Trust me when you start re tweeting your followers count grows.<br />
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Be yourself on Twitter, don't spam or bombard tweeters with crap they don't want to read the radars are up and they will block and report you and you will get blacklisted very quickly. If you have a block and can't think of anything to tweet then don't log on till you do. Tweet with interest and show people your great personality.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: magenta;"><b>I have to admit it guys I'm a sucker for Twitter !</b></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852407149445479488.post-53274924838236146532012-01-16T21:57:00.007+10:002012-01-29T12:11:43.615+10:00Which is the better platform ?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCUvQzUnJ2xCwlyMM5euzVj8XYDS9CElR082a8SnpG26PsKH8iJ7U8U_2b7eK_r96Nffl_cnOuOxj9Yql6BS5Te3R3LriZqu-IWKAQSvG6Ptw1eHZ7ssH03kWGweu1HknbXipUn6Wnt26s/s1600/Blogger-VS-WordPress-300x160.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCUvQzUnJ2xCwlyMM5euzVj8XYDS9CElR082a8SnpG26PsKH8iJ7U8U_2b7eK_r96Nffl_cnOuOxj9Yql6BS5Te3R3LriZqu-IWKAQSvG6Ptw1eHZ7ssH03kWGweu1HknbXipUn6Wnt26s/s1600/Blogger-VS-WordPress-300x160.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">It's so hard to decide which is the better platform Blogger or Wordpress !</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">For years now I have used both creating blogs and websites for family, friends and business clients and after all this time and fun I've had playing around on both these platforms I still can't decide which one I want to use for myself.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Have a look at <span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: magenta;"><b>Wordpress.org </b></span></span>platform which is powered by PHP and MYSQL and initially introduced to the world in May 2003, version WP 3.0 was downloaded more than 33 million times in 2011. It has thousands of templates that are free to download and use, and if your like me play around with the code bugger them up delete them and start again till you get it right :)</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Now have a look at <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: magenta;"><b>Blogger.com</b></span> one excellent platform for a newbie to start their blog with, so user friendly and yet so up there with the rest, you can spice it up now with free templates and social plugins, as opposed to Wordpress where you do need a little knowledge on what web hosting is, FTP (File Transfer Protocol) and cpanel with Blogger you don't even need the dummies guide on how to us it.<br />
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<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;">So I had to decide what to do for myself for my site.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"> I will still introduce Blogger to friends and family who get the urge to be bloggers, we are all bloggers at heart and we all have some weird, wonderful, whacky stories to tell and on Blogger there is unlimited bandwidth and it's free your not paying for it :)).</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;">The reasons I have made my choice to move my site to Wordpress in the near future:</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">* I have heard and it seems true that Wordpress is much more SEO friendly than blogger.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">* Wordpress has a lot more Widgets, Gadgets and Plugins than Blogger.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">* Google has terms and Services and if I don't comply with them my blogspot may be deleted :(</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: magenta;"><b>What do you think of my decision guys is Wordpress the better platform ?</b></span></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852407149445479488.post-76064364974543819822011-08-08T20:04:00.002+10:002011-11-29T23:50:42.058+10:00Early this morning I became a FirefighterKUDOS TO ALL FIREFIGHTERS :) <br />
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One of the things you dread a fire, yep got the call at 1.30am this morning a smoke alarm was going off on the 28th floor of the Resort and had been for thirty minutes. <br />
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Oh golly I check the in-house list and it's not one of my units, but I'm on my way up there to assess the situation, The caller is at his door when he hears the lift bell go and I step out "it's not me" he say's and I head to the unit where I can hear the alarm coming from loud and clear it's the one. <br />
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I knock no answer, I open the door and the smoke just gushed out, oh shoot I head towards the Kitchen yelling out is there anyone home! and I see ahead of me in the lounge room a couch with the silhouette of a head, my first thought is Terror! he's dead, he didn't move when I yelled. <br />
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I go past the kitchen see the fire on the stove out of the corner of my eye as I head to him on the couch, grab his wrist,find a pulse, he's alive just asleep, Wholly shit I again see the stove on fire behind him while I'm doing this, I try to wake him up he doesn't stir, I run into the Kitchen and grab whatever I can find to kill this fire, I run back try to shake the shit out of this guy, C'mon Matey your house is on fire, please wake up and help me, no luck ! I go to the balcony open the door, I head back to the Kitchen whacking the fire with tea towels! I head back to old Matey shake him again and finally he wakes up, and all he could say was "Well this is pretty embarrassing" he fell asleep while cooking fish fingers under the griller. In the meantime I head home stinking of smoke, and hit the shower at 3am in the morning. :)Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852407149445479488.post-74415098341944597862010-10-11T08:40:00.001+10:002011-11-29T23:51:21.469+10:00Brandons Film (Youtube)<object height="385" width="300"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/m0I3Kpl3DTI?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/m0I3Kpl3DTI?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="500" height="385"></embed></object>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852407149445479488.post-59886555829503709912010-09-02T14:00:00.001+10:002012-01-29T12:12:55.059+10:00This is Priceless ! and how True !<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWvUsfkeKxMiVYOXBqLFTv_bDq2NgVfi1YKL4sWr5fxdkN3jXbtZodANWBip_OI36uGOkZYUzv5dK8wuBVlkt3dy8p2r_t2fkCzw77NxVMeCNmblNbPK8Rg4v6es4rZxir9Bb6O8jACPuk/s1600/dance-in-the-rain1-300x300.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWvUsfkeKxMiVYOXBqLFTv_bDq2NgVfi1YKL4sWr5fxdkN3jXbtZodANWBip_OI36uGOkZYUzv5dK8wuBVlkt3dy8p2r_t2fkCzw77NxVMeCNmblNbPK8Rg4v6es4rZxir9Bb6O8jACPuk/s200/dance-in-the-rain1-300x300.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>In case you missed it on 60 Minutes, this is what Andy Rooney thinks about women over 40:<br />
<br />
60 Minutes Correspondent Andy Rooney (CBS)<br />
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As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all.... Here are just a few reasons why:<br />
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A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think.<br />
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If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting...<br />
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Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.<br />
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Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.<br />
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Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40.<br />
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Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.<br />
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Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.<br />
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Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in baggy pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologise....<br />
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For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?' – Here is an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realise it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!<br />
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Andy Rooney is a really smart guy!<br />
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852407149445479488.post-79242566028098184342010-06-01T18:35:00.004+10:002012-01-29T12:15:26.536+10:00WIFE FROM HELL<div id="ecxecxecxecxecxecxecxecxecxecxyiv1927773179"><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6N3s9KYscCa6uzX-67BEy8sxE6XD0N7np203Xr0lZBqBddEvODlj0_bPgOfh8x7kkDPGlspg5DRnWM2EAThcRq_ngU0_0wJAHGeBZx7GZXgTqbRKtBjycT-q7uVIpXnuiT26f6tNXCY6o/s1600/chips-cop-tv-show.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6N3s9KYscCa6uzX-67BEy8sxE6XD0N7np203Xr0lZBqBddEvODlj0_bPgOfh8x7kkDPGlspg5DRnWM2EAThcRq_ngU0_0wJAHGeBZx7GZXgTqbRKtBjycT-q7uVIpXnuiT26f6tNXCY6o/s320/chips-cop-tv-show.jpg" /></a></div><div align="center" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 0.5in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 0.5in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'Kristen ITC'; font-size: small;">A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says,'</span><span class="ecxecxecxecxecxecxecxecxecxapple-converted-space" style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #00b050; font-family: 'Kristen ITC';"> </span></span><span style="color: #0070c0; font-family: 'Kristen ITC'; font-size: small;">I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;">.'</span></div></div><div align="center" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 0.5in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;"></div></div><div align="center" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 0.5in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'Kristen ITC'; font-size: small;">The driver says,<span class="ecxecxecxecxecxecxecxecxecxapple-converted-space"> </span></span><span style="color: #00b050; font-family: 'Kristen ITC'; font-size: small;">'Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;">. '</span></div></div><div align="center" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 0.5in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;"></div></div><div align="center" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 0.5in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'Kristen ITC'; font-size: small;">Not looking up from her knitting the wife says:<span class="ecxecxecxecxecxecxecxecxecxapple-converted-space"> </span></span><span style="color: #cc0066; font-family: 'Kristen ITC'; font-size: small;">'Now don't be silly, dear -- you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;">'</span></div></div><div align="center" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 0.5in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;"></div></div><div align="center" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 0.5in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'Kristen ITC'; font-size: small;">As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and groans,</span></div></div><div align="center" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 0.5in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #00b050; font-family: 'Kristen ITC'; font-size: small;">'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once !! ?</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;">'</span></div></div><div align="center" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 0.5in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;"></div></div><div align="center" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 0.5in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'Kristen ITC'; font-size: small;">The wife smiles demurely and says,<span class="ecxecxecxecxecxecxecxecxecxapple-converted-space"> </span></span><span style="color: #cc0066; font-family: 'Kristen ITC'; font-size: small;">'Well dear you should be thankful your radardetector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;">'</span></div></div><div align="center" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 0.5in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;"></div></div><div align="center" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 0.5in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'Kristen ITC'; font-size: small;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Kristen ITC'; font-size: small;">As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth,</span></div></div><div align="center" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 0.5in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #00b050; font-family: 'Kristen ITC'; font-size: small;">'Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;">'</span></div></div><div align="center" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 0.5in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;"></div></div><div align="center" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 0.5in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'Kristen ITC'; font-size: small;">The officer frowns and says,<span class="ecxecxecxecxecxecxecxecxecxapple-converted-space"> </span></span><span style="color: #0070c0; font-family: 'Kristen ITC'; font-size: small;">'And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir.</span></div></div><div align="center" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 0.5in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #0070c0; font-family: 'Kristen ITC'; font-size: small;">That's an automatic $75 fine.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;">'</span></div><div align="center" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 0.5in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Kristen ITC'; font-size: small;">The driver says,<span class="ecxecxecxecxecxecxecxecxecxapple-converted-space"> </span></span><span style="color: #00b050; font-family: 'Kristen ITC'; font-size: small;">'Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;">'</span></div><div align="center" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 0.5in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'Kristen ITC'; font-size: small;">The wife says,<span class="ecxecxecxecxecxecxecxecxecxapple-converted-space"> </span></span><span style="color: #cc0066; font-family: 'Kristen ITC'; font-size: small;">'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;">'</span></div><div align="center" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 0.5in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'Kristen ITC'; font-size: small;">And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks, <span class="ecxecxecxecxecxecxecxecxecxapple-converted-space"> </span></span><span style="color: #00b050; font-family: 'Kristen ITC'; font-size: small;">'W</span><span class="ecxecxecxecxecxecxecxecxecxapple-converted-space" style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"> </span></span><span style="color: #339966; font-family: 'Kristen ITC'; font-size: small;">ILL</span><span class="ecxecxecxecxecxecxecxecxecxapple-converted-space" style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"> </span></span><span style="color: #00b050; font-family: 'Kristen ITC'; font-size: small;">YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;">'</span></div><div align="center" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 0.5in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Kristen ITC'; font-size: small;">The officer looks over at the woman and asks,<span class="ecxecxecxecxecxecxecxecxecxapple-converted-space"> </span></span><span style="color: #0070c0; font-family: 'Kristen ITC'; font-size: small;">'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;">'</span></div><div align="center" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 0.5in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Kristen ITC'; font-size: small;">(love this part)</span></div><div align="center" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 0.5in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;"></div><div align="center" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 0.5in; margin-right: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #cc0066; font-family: 'Kristen ITC'; font-size: small;">'Only when he's been drinking.!!</span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852407149445479488.post-18356792565774204162010-04-09T21:36:00.008+10:002012-01-29T12:16:02.874+10:00THIS ONE IS FOR THE GIRLS !!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX481i85Ofk-sMnam1hfD3C692x6b0pb_l4sIZc6N1HzQFtu4SUl6A2H6TG0UJSMcraQwIYso5tetRMGeTynNIv884d_-uNZchzLIafhIHKWsLy8Xw7lEqx-iJ6fMcv8h3yUDV4c6yX_KA/s1600/large_bar.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX481i85Ofk-sMnam1hfD3C692x6b0pb_l4sIZc6N1HzQFtu4SUl6A2H6TG0UJSMcraQwIYso5tetRMGeTynNIv884d_-uNZchzLIafhIHKWsLy8Xw7lEqx-iJ6fMcv8h3yUDV4c6yX_KA/s320/large_bar.jpg" /></a></div><blockquote style="margin-bottom: 5pt;"><div class="ecxMsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #52371d; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;">A Special One For All The Ladies ...</span></b></div></blockquote><blockquote style="margin-bottom: 5pt;"><div class="ecxMsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #52371d; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"> ARE YOU A BITCH? </span></b></div></blockquote><blockquote style="margin-bottom: 5pt;"><div class="ecxMsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #52371d; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;">Some friends were sitting at the bar talking about their professions ~ </span></b></div></blockquote><blockquote style="margin-bottom: 5pt;"><div class="ecxMsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #52371d; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;">The first guy says 'I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E., you know </span></b></div></blockquote><blockquote style="margin-bottom: 5pt;"><div class="ecxMsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #52371d; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;">Young, Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, </span></b><span class="ecxapple-tab-span"><b><span style="color: #52371d; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></b></span><b><span style="color: #52371d; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ecologist'</span></b></div></blockquote><blockquote style="margin-bottom: 5pt;"><div class="ecxMsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #52371d; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;">The second guy says 'I'm a D.I.N.K., you know... </span></b></div></blockquote><blockquote style="margin-bottom: 5pt;"><div class="ecxMsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #52371d; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;">Double Income, No Kids.'</span></b></div></blockquote><br />
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<blockquote style="margin-bottom: 5pt;"><div class="ecxMsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #52371d; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;">The third guy says, 'I'm a R.U.B ., you know... </span></b></div></blockquote><blockquote style="margin-bottom: 5pt;"><div class="ecxMsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #52371d; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;">Rich, Urban, Biker.'</span></b></div></blockquote><blockquote style="margin-bottom: 5pt;"><div class="ecxMsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #52371d; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;">They turn to the woman and ask her, </span></b></div></blockquote><blockquote style="margin-bottom: 5pt;"><div class="ecxMsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #52371d; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;">What are you?''</span></b></div></blockquote><blockquote style="margin-bottom: 5pt;"><div class="ecxMsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #52371d; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;">She replies: 'I'm a W.I.F .E , you know...</span></b></div></blockquote><blockquote style="margin-bottom: 5pt;"><div class="ecxMsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #52371d; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;">Wash, Iron, Fetch, Etc.'</span></b></div></blockquote><blockquote style="margin-bottom: 5pt;"><div class="ecxMsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #52371d; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;">A second gal answers their question before they even ask </span></b></div></blockquote><blockquote style="margin-bottom: 5pt;"><div class="ecxMsoNormal"><span class="ecxapple-tab-span"><b><span style="color: #52371d; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></b></span><b><span style="color: #52371d; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's, 'B.I.T.C.H .'</span></b></div></blockquote><blockquote style="margin-bottom: 5pt;"><div class="ecxMsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #52371d; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;">What exactly is a BITCH?!? they ask in unison. </span></b></div></blockquote><blockquote style="margin-bottom: 5pt;"><div class="ecxMsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #52371d; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;">'Babe In Total Control of Herself.' </span></b></div></blockquote><blockquote style="margin-bottom: 5pt;"><div class="ecxMsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #52371d; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;">So ladies, next time somebody calls you a 'Bitch' SMILE, </span></b><span class="ecxapple-tab-span"><b><span style="color: #52371d; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></b></span><b><span style="color: #52371d; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;">and say 'Thank You!!'</span></b></div></blockquote><blockquote style="margin-bottom: 5pt;"></blockquote>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852407149445479488.post-89621224124680891532010-03-11T12:26:00.001+10:002012-01-29T12:16:36.037+10:00THE KOALA AND THE LITTLE LIZARD !!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZA62vbCsvI9XO8vx7JsRjegrG1MyUxVqNOoAOvAiqPiRHFKV3sdPildIiUzeun7LpR9q7cyHjCXo569G4kKxl6f4EKLv6vSttoXR7YojCtJLRGKvtznbDnnxIhNpdF6CpJEXv8y4BgHQx/s1600-h/koala.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZA62vbCsvI9XO8vx7JsRjegrG1MyUxVqNOoAOvAiqPiRHFKV3sdPildIiUzeun7LpR9q7cyHjCXo569G4kKxl6f4EKLv6vSttoXR7YojCtJLRGKvtznbDnnxIhNpdF6CpJEXv8y4BgHQx/s320/koala.PNG" /></a></div><br />
The Koala and the Little Lizard<br />
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A koala is sitting up a gum tree smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past , looks up and says "Hey Koala ! what are you doing?"<br />
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The koala says: "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."<br />
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So the little lizard climbs up and sits next to the koala and they have a few joints.<br />
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<div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div>After a while the little lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river.<br />
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But the little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgipYyUYFt9M3FKE_BmxZA4wwA9D_KNJiE8rUM81pnp_maLzB_lyhT5nLipgGfCER2vlkrfZ_InrRvBhMFyLU4sjE7l_7MOCsUk08A6cVvNdh9Fb-OZ0T4onktlyBe2A1nK8hQcyMz6sUKg/s1600-h/lizard.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgipYyUYFt9M3FKE_BmxZA4wwA9D_KNJiE8rUM81pnp_maLzB_lyhT5nLipgGfCER2vlkrfZ_InrRvBhMFyLU4sjE7l_7MOCsUk08A6cVvNdh9Fb-OZ0T4onktlyBe2A1nK8hQcyMz6sUKg/s320/lizard.bmp" /></a></div> A crocodile sees this and swims over to the little lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the little lizard: "What's the matter with you?"<br />
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The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSFgH9SCrUCuWfqenWSLEfKxGQ7GXJleujVwcsR-yBnLqMsTkt7tkbfM7H3x40tqPwH3sTpfRKZvw-acHXa3cmV7gZbN62UWYcqPNaDDsfZr-yIY8VSeeHgWWq5wFv988L5qCcsnm4w3Av/s1600-h/Crocodile.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br />
</a></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSFgH9SCrUCuWfqenWSLEfKxGQ7GXJleujVwcsR-yBnLqMsTkt7tkbfM7H3x40tqPwH3sTpfRKZvw-acHXa3cmV7gZbN62UWYcqPNaDDsfZr-yIY8VSeeHgWWq5wFv988L5qCcsnm4w3Av/s1600-h/Crocodile.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSFgH9SCrUCuWfqenWSLEfKxGQ7GXJleujVwcsR-yBnLqMsTkt7tkbfM7H3x40tqPwH3sTpfRKZvw-acHXa3cmV7gZbN62UWYcqPNaDDsfZr-yIY8VSeeHgWWq5wFv988L5qCcsnm4w3Av/s320/Crocodile.PNG" /></a><br />
<br />
<br />
The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the rain forest, finds the tree where the koala is sitting finishing a joint, and he looks up and says "Hey you!"<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
So the koala looks down at him and says: "Far Out dude.......how much water did you drink?!!"<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEp-9N2UwhxNV_eS1KH9arhmOeuWACf4voKDKH4B1i9_wB0yHwE92wN3FeYIAF8d_CkuNWBb0Wku-6pDJBQxT1NV8IXhy1lLwlZivT9QQ_75kiKJHw2bVnfwjrYUFF5AAVj6sUdFcpNmwd/s1600-h/koala1.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEp-9N2UwhxNV_eS1KH9arhmOeuWACf4voKDKH4B1i9_wB0yHwE92wN3FeYIAF8d_CkuNWBb0Wku-6pDJBQxT1NV8IXhy1lLwlZivT9QQ_75kiKJHw2bVnfwjrYUFF5AAVj6sUdFcpNmwd/s320/koala1.PNG" /></a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852407149445479488.post-80462936647886730522010-02-19T15:52:00.003+10:002012-01-29T12:17:37.748+10:00IT'S HELL TO BE OLD !!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5fjta1kMQL85QR19mUui4cK_TOUSCYQrlf7nYDXMZLpjVrY8tXVJX3zA3wdYOFemiQS3zmuvcli5F7xrZKYWvDcXGlCIkTLyLob1n2WEirYhpkKMI4K-rvcsX0keh6K9FoSnmEQBgDC7_/s1600-h/hell+to+be+old.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5fjta1kMQL85QR19mUui4cK_TOUSCYQrlf7nYDXMZLpjVrY8tXVJX3zA3wdYOFemiQS3zmuvcli5F7xrZKYWvDcXGlCIkTLyLob1n2WEirYhpkKMI4K-rvcsX0keh6K9FoSnmEQBgDC7_/s320/hell+to+be+old.bmp" /></a> </div><div><div><div style="text-align: center;"><div class="ecxMsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;">OLD people have problems that you haven't </span></b></span><span style="color: black; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>even considered yet! </b></span> </span></span></div></div><div class="ecxMsoNormal"><span style="color: black; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 24pt;"><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">An 85-year-old man was requested by his </span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;">Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical </span><span style="color: black; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;">exam.<br />
<br />
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take </span><span style="color: black; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;">this jar home and bring back a semen sample </span><span style="color: black; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;"></span><span style="color: black; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;">tomorrow.' <br />
<br />
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared </span><span style="color: black; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;"></span><span style="color: black; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;">at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, </span><span style="color: black; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;"></span><span style="color: black; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;">which was as clean and empty as on the </span><span style="color: black; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;"></span><span style="color: black; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;">previous day. <br />
<br />
The doctor asked what happened and the man </span><span style="color: black; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;"></span><span style="color: black; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;">explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this -- first I tried </span><span style="color: black; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;"></span><span style="color: black; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;">with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried </span><span style="color: black; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;"></span><span style="color: black; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;">with my left hand, but still nothing. <br />
</span></span><br />
<a name='more'></a><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;"><br />
'Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with </span><span style="color: black; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="color: black; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;">her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. </span><span style="color: black; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;"></span><span style="color: black; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;">She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, </span><span style="color: black; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;">then with her teeth out, still nothing. <br />
<br />
'We even called up Arleen, the lady next door </span><span style="color: black; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;">and she tried too, first with both hands, then an </span><span style="color: black; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;"></span><span style="color: black; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;">armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between </span><span style="color: black; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;"></span><span style="color: black; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;">her knees, but still nothing.'<br />
<br />
The doctor was shocked! </span></span></div></div><div class="ecxMsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="ecxMsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="color: black; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">'You asked your neighbor?' </span> </span></b></span><span style="color: black; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;"><br />
<br />
The old man replied,</span></span></div></div><div class="ecxMsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="ecxMsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;">'Yep, none of us could get </span><span style="color: black; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="color: black; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;">the jar open.'</span></span> </div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852407149445479488.post-12353821655179051352010-01-05T14:05:00.005+10:002012-01-29T12:18:52.347+10:00Rat Shit in the glue on Envelopes was the Best<div class="MsoNormal"><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Dear Friends<br />
<br />
Just to start off the New Year I wanted to thank you for the e-mails you have forwarded over the last year.<br />
<br />
I must send a big thank you to whoever sent me the one about rat shit in the glue on envelopes, because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.<br />
<br />
Also, I now have to wipe the top of every can I open for the same reason.<br />
<br />
I no longer have any savings because I gave it all to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">But that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft are sending me for participating in their special email programs. Or from the senior bank clerk in</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Nigeria who wants to split seven million dollars with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who died intestate.<br />
<br />
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me.<br />
<br />
I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward emails to seven friends and make a wish within five minutes. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove toilet stains.<br />
<br />
I no longer can buy petrol without taking a friend along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up. I no longer go to shopping centres because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.<br />
<br />
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number and then I'll get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore and Uzbekistan . </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my bum.<br />
<br />
I can't even pick up the $5.00 I found dropped in the car park because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.<br />
<br />
If you don't send this blog to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will shit on your head at 5:00pm this afternoon and fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.<br />
<br />
By the way....a South American scientist after a lengthy study has discovered that people with low IQ who don't have enough sex, always read their emails and my blogs while holding their mouse.<br />
<br />
Don't bother taking your hand off the mouse now, it's too late……………………………..LOL<br />
<br />
<b>Happy New Year to all XOXO</b></span><b><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1f497d;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852407149445479488.post-39712023847418643502009-12-22T10:13:00.004+10:002009-12-22T10:17:20.313+10:00WEEWEECHU CHRISTMAS !<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrc2fPV-EUew3_DGd1vmPgCz71uARI45mwCbNwNW7CG6EWxte8R5K6IpagfmhE0Ck7XwuC9MDnDU1wiJIypyBL0Gy5VZ5MLAE10NP4PzZKnDk8G2e1ctg2Q4a8xYpDoh1oMYIfgWoFCRBI/s1600-h/WeeWeeChu.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrc2fPV-EUew3_DGd1vmPgCz71uARI45mwCbNwNW7CG6EWxte8R5K6IpagfmhE0Ck7XwuC9MDnDU1wiJIypyBL0Gy5VZ5MLAE10NP4PzZKnDk8G2e1ctg2Q4a8xYpDoh1oMYIfgWoFCRBI/s320/WeeWeeChu.bmp" /></a><span style="color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 13.5pt;">It was a romantic full moon when Pedro said, "Hey, mamacita, let's do Weeweechu."<br />
<br />
Oh no, not now, let's look at the moon!"</span><span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt;"> ,</span><span style="color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 13.5pt;"> said Rosita.<br />
<br />
Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I do Weeweechu. I love you and it's the perfect time," Pedro begged.<br />
<br />
"But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon."</span><span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt;"> ,</span><span style="color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 13.5pt;"> replied Rosita.<br />
<br />
</span><span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt;"> </span><span style="color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 13.5pt;">"Please, corazoncito, just once, do Weeweechu with me."<br />
<br />
Rosita looked at Pedro and said, "OK, one time, we'll do Weeweechu."<br />
<br />
Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang.....<br />
</span><i><span style="color: green; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 13.5pt;">"Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year."</span></i><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: green; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 13.5pt;"> </span></i><span style="color: red; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 13.5pt;">MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!!</span><span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt;"> </span><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><span style="color: red; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 13.5pt;"></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852407149445479488.post-6869285815998098502009-12-15T12:20:00.000+10:002009-12-15T12:20:57.549+10:00EXERCISE FOR THE OVER FORTIES<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvcXPMP4gH8tBURVKkPWeZblsweuzKgNt0Xh5NlxgNsNNg45R60odro8-ZAH-Jsj4pf7hQoEEOLMB14a1JJRV4gi02dRRd5mesC4rKq87E_znO4TcVwVtOLxvrNGfLkA6FqISUydo1g2Gt/s1600-h/Potatoes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvcXPMP4gH8tBURVKkPWeZblsweuzKgNt0Xh5NlxgNsNNg45R60odro8-ZAH-Jsj4pf7hQoEEOLMB14a1JJRV4gi02dRRd5mesC4rKq87E_znO4TcVwVtOLxvrNGfLkA6FqISUydo1g2Gt/s320/Potatoes.jpg" /></a><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> Just came across this exercise suggested for the over 40's to build muscle strength in the arms and shoulders. It seems so easy so I thought that I'd pass it on to some of my friends and family. The article suggested doing it three days a week.<br />
<br />
1. Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 2kg potato bag in each hand, extend your arms<span style="color: navy;"><span style="color: navy;"> </span></span>straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, then relax.<br />
<br />
2. Each day, you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 5kg potato bag. Then a 25kg<span style="color: navy;"><span style="color: navy;"> </span></span>potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full<span style="color: navy;"><span style="color: navy;"> </span></span>minute (I'm at this level).<br />
<br />
3. After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the bags. LOL !! <br />
</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852407149445479488.post-72287218535202182652009-12-07T12:18:00.003+10:002009-12-07T12:23:29.702+10:00Bottle of Wine The Women will love this one !!<div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0YIR9A25kIkrlQA5VVTe7OTHN4ku7d-mI7Y7jj6xX_HA6MlL1fiicBsMzetlDbECWx4zASMIlO55AohkiEQ94icedpBqWClT3nPkF-SIf8FjkXrWAIZj3xoi-4uSwQsfk2ganBPBoUFhp/s1600-h/Car+Accident.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0YIR9A25kIkrlQA5VVTe7OTHN4ku7d-mI7Y7jj6xX_HA6MlL1fiicBsMzetlDbECWx4zASMIlO55AohkiEQ94icedpBqWClT3nPkF-SIf8FjkXrWAIZj3xoi-4uSwQsfk2ganBPBoUFhp/s320/Car+Accident.jpg" /></a><br />
</div><div class="ecxecxMsoNormal"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial;">A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt. God works in mysterious ways.<br />
</span></span><span style="color: navy; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';"> </span></span><span style="color: black; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black;"></span></span><br />
</div></div></div><div><div class="ecxecxMsoNormal"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial;"> </span></span><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial;">After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling about women drivers.</span></span><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: Arial;"> </span></span><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial;"><br />
</span></span><span style="color: navy; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';"> </span></span><span style="color: black; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black;"></span></span><br />
</div></div><div><div class="ecxecxMsoNormal"><span style="color: #ff0080; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #ff0080; font-family: Arial;"> </span></span><span style="color: #ff0080; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #ff0080; font-family: Arial;">The woman says, 'So, you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should be friends and live in peace for the rest of our days.'<br />
</span></span><span style="color: navy; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';"> </span></span><span style="color: black; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black;"></span></span><br />
</div></div><div><div class="ecxecxMsoNormal"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial;"> </span></span><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial;">Flattered, the man replies, 'Oh yes, I agree completely, this must be a sign from God! But you're still at fault...women shouldn't be allowed to drive.'<br />
</span></span><span style="color: navy; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';"> </span></span><span style="color: black; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black;"></span></span><br />
</div></div><div><div class="ecxecxMsoNormal"><span style="color: #ff0080; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #ff0080; font-family: Arial;"> </span></span><span style="color: #ff0080; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #ff0080; font-family: Arial;">The woman continues, 'And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.' She hands the bottle to the man.</span></span><span style="color: #ff0080; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #ff0080; font-family: Arial;"><br />
</span></span><span style="color: navy; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';"> </span></span><span style="color: black; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black;"></span></span><br />
</div></div><div><div class="ecxecxMsoNormal"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial;"> </span></span><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial;">The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.</span></span><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: Arial;"> </span></span><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial;"><br />
</span></span><span style="color: navy; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';"> </span></span><span style="color: black; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black;"></span></span><br />
</div></div><div><div class="ecxecxMsoNormal"><span style="color: #ff0080; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #ff0080; font-family: Arial;"> </span></span><span style="color: #ff0080; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #ff0080; font-family: Arial;">The woman takes the bottle, puts the cap back on and hands it back to the man.</span></span><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: Arial;"><br />
</span></span><span style="color: navy; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';"> </span></span><span style="color: black; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black;"></span></span><br />
</div></div><div><div class="ecxecxMsoNormal"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial;"> </span></span><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial;">The man asks, 'Aren't you having any?'</span></span><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: Arial;"> </span></span><span style="color: black; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black;"></span></span><br />
</div></div><div style="margin-left: 3.75pt;"><div align="center" class="ecxecxMsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #ff0080; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #ff0080;">The woman replies, 'No. I think I'll just wait for the police...'</span></span><span style="color: #ff0080; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #ff0080;"> <br />
</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><b><u><span style="color: purple; font-family: Arial;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: purple; font-family: Arial; font-weight: bold;"><br />
</span></span></u></b></span><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial;"><br />
</span></span><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: blue; font-family: Arial;">MORAL OF THE STORY:<br />
</span></span><span style="color: #ff0080; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #ff0080; font-family: Arial;">Women are clever and evil. Don't mess with them.</span></span><br />
</div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852407149445479488.post-10312571188235753562009-11-23T12:04:00.003+10:002009-11-23T12:07:02.802+10:00So Where is the Post Office ?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnO1nhrIJyQeoEMN5WXnWbfFKJAv-OprcEJ6PUHXUAWJ_yLa376RUlmbmi9U9IjmLYjHUYSkn6bZhFj-IryotH2AjiG4FdK_764jnO5Xkg5ROFE1MnXBRn3Fvkfs3kxol5xH_Pg9ZtxBCr/s1600/Wiccan.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="cssfloat: left; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnO1nhrIJyQeoEMN5WXnWbfFKJAv-OprcEJ6PUHXUAWJ_yLa376RUlmbmi9U9IjmLYjHUYSkn6bZhFj-IryotH2AjiG4FdK_764jnO5Xkg5ROFE1MnXBRn3Fvkfs3kxol5xH_Pg9ZtxBCr/s320/Wiccan.bmp" yr="true" /></a><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Store. As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked, "Son, can </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You tell me where the Post Office is?" </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The little boy replied, "Sure! Just go straight down this street a Coupla blocks and turn to your right."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The man thanked the boy kindly and said, "I'm the new pastor in town. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'd like for you to come to church on Sunday. I'll show you how to get To Heaven."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The little boy replied with a chuckle. "Awww, bullshit... You don't Even know the way to the Post Office."</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852407149445479488.post-11872368805433969542009-11-18T12:42:00.001+10:002009-11-18T14:29:26.642+10:00Six foot Tall Dark and Handsome<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZKGNZi5Av9rAQRnVtkyQS9X74Fwo7WRGwxvh2o30e3arpWq7-zzU_HOBa4JZYMjopFI6VW3znyVp5GUVuOTz56FN9hlyrZyEjbZbTdLwhseG8IzU2cM5lo7V7eaUd8Q0sQJUe12ptZbh_/s1600/python.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZKGNZi5Av9rAQRnVtkyQS9X74Fwo7WRGwxvh2o30e3arpWq7-zzU_HOBa4JZYMjopFI6VW3znyVp5GUVuOTz56FN9hlyrZyEjbZbTdLwhseG8IzU2cM5lo7V7eaUd8Q0sQJUe12ptZbh_/s320/python.JPG" /></a><br />
</div>After a long day at work, Finally got home and there he was eyeballing me from the rafters, a beautiful Carpet Python has much to the dismay of the three cats taken up residence in our Carport.<br />
<br />
Well why not let him stay, as well as our own cats, horses, Jungle Python and Blue tongue Lizard we seem to share with next doors chooks and the lady down the roads dogs so what's another Python to the menagerie.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852407149445479488.post-77910084085888556092009-11-14T09:49:00.000+10:002009-11-14T09:49:06.790+10:00View of the Gold Coast from Lower Beechmont<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvrqPWo0cW_uiXATPiMu23POmKIeW8KsIMuX9pBtybZymJ09OtEwSaWsPq4VApUGC4eNnF7ZOAQRH0nPB7QO374ODnpAcxolI3zstOQFt5BQGMcWBwBRlvYoHI4jmXeL19pas36Itj3wpS/s1600-h/view+lb.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" sr="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvrqPWo0cW_uiXATPiMu23POmKIeW8KsIMuX9pBtybZymJ09OtEwSaWsPq4VApUGC4eNnF7ZOAQRH0nPB7QO374ODnpAcxolI3zstOQFt5BQGMcWBwBRlvYoHI4jmXeL19pas36Itj3wpS/s320/view+lb.jpg" /></a>A shot of the Gold Coast from Lower Beechmont a nice place to be !<br />
</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852407149445479488.post-41274709372214256252009-11-12T16:44:00.006+10:002009-11-12T16:50:07.428+10:00Kafritsas says it's high time to dive back into the Surf the Hi Surf that is !<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirUQ3uMoGA_mF836OWZbh_zZqlysYNXStGYJEf-0lLLRzjzLafjdEIBdMVbzorOqzuAV2ULRY91U9lv_JZGolhefZXHKCFpVSTIWLUkOoQ1GaXyLA0OvmHw6VebXml7dsWLhMqr8DylclE/s1600-h/KAFRITSAS_WEB_THUMB_EE329868_10235.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" sr="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirUQ3uMoGA_mF836OWZbh_zZqlysYNXStGYJEf-0lLLRzjzLafjdEIBdMVbzorOqzuAV2ULRY91U9lv_JZGolhefZXHKCFpVSTIWLUkOoQ1GaXyLA0OvmHw6VebXml7dsWLhMqr8DylclE/s320/KAFRITSAS_WEB_THUMB_EE329868_10235.jpg" /></a>Okay in todays Gold Coast Bulletin I read the following story:<br />
</div>GOLD Coast businessman Greg Kafritsas hopes to buy back the management rights to Hi Surf after the company he sold it to went into receivership.<br />
The Surfers Paradise hotel is one of seven management rights that are subject to a tender campaign at the behest of receivers. Mr Kafritsas's offer, which has been lodged with receivers KordaMentha, needs body corporate approval before the deal is cemented. <br />
<br />
Ten companies linked to Prime Apartments Hotels and Resorts (PAHR) moved into receivership earlier this year owing $12.5 million. Tony Freeman and Peter Bellomo are directors of each company.<br />
<br />
Mr Kafritsas said that he was owed almost $700,000 by one of the companies. The management rights operator, who runs Outrigger Resort at Burleigh Heads and Club Surfers, said he wanted to buy back the rights to a hotel he loved.<br />
<br />
He said he hoped the move would see him recoup the money he lost.<br />
<br />
<strong>NOW HERE IS THE PROBLEM: Can anyone confirm this: I heard on the Grapevine that Tony Freeman is using his influence on family members who are on the Board of the Body Corporate to block this from happening. If this is true then shame on you Tony Freeman.</strong><br />
<br />
<br />
Source for main story and photo: <a href="http://bit.ly/2hAk27">http://bit.ly/2hAk27</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852407149445479488.post-75033339769543822992009-11-09T13:16:00.001+10:002009-11-09T13:17:55.884+10:00The Old Railway Shack Over there !<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBAAJpYWDdjREaKunfk7PrtZjSgex6GOsGI4OG4oLQTJbjhlW0Iu0l0ECKIUaJzhsbtUCzszLTIbd2ml5nfdC_DwzZpkmT52q30A7ZEGTkVyTcf8895-Mi1UIFGdtT8m8vIuFHrrzICwCE/s1600-h/Railway+shack.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" sr="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBAAJpYWDdjREaKunfk7PrtZjSgex6GOsGI4OG4oLQTJbjhlW0Iu0l0ECKIUaJzhsbtUCzszLTIbd2ml5nfdC_DwzZpkmT52q30A7ZEGTkVyTcf8895-Mi1UIFGdtT8m8vIuFHrrzICwCE/s320/Railway+shack.jpg" /></a>It's Sunday the sun is out and we are sitting in the back courtyard with fresh brewed coffee and Apple Danish. "I tried to imagine it in my head as she explained it", She lived in the old railway shack just over the back there, she pointed to the fence at the back of the property, there was a young couple that lived in the shack next door and they had a young boy and it always made her worry because he was so young and there were a lot of trains around when she lived there. <br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The Dad was a hard worker, and the Mum was a nice lady, she was home all day. She didn't know what happened to them, but she hoped they were okay wherever they went. <br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">We will never know because they didn't exist, this was a story from Mum when we visited her yesterday, she has been diagnosed with that ugly, ugly disease Dementia.<br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852407149445479488.post-37538137088116582742009-11-05T11:03:00.006+10:002009-11-05T11:12:44.711+10:00Good Food and Wine Show<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmDYr_z__k0eH_1xv-fsDneTPMJVUU2pKMURegBKquVT3eyFKawCN_zAtW_ii21LKB4CnB9vhFkxK1Gl2kJ335gS_g2g_rKzOMymjzeXgcmVJz39858yCjuBvuQnOWq4Jn2Z2Mbw1KAc47/s1600-h/logo+Good+Food.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" sr="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmDYr_z__k0eH_1xv-fsDneTPMJVUU2pKMURegBKquVT3eyFKawCN_zAtW_ii21LKB4CnB9vhFkxK1Gl2kJ335gS_g2g_rKzOMymjzeXgcmVJz39858yCjuBvuQnOWq4Jn2Z2Mbw1KAc47/s320/logo+Good+Food.png" /></a><br />
</div>This Weekend don't miss the Good Food & Wine Show at the Brisbane Convention & Exhibition Centre, Cnr Merivale Road & Glenelg Street, Brisbane. Friday 6 November: 10am - 6pm<br />
Saturday 7 November: 10am - 6pm Sunday 8 November: 10am - 5pm.<br />
<br />
Go to <a href="http://bit.ly/2pkbHg">http://bit.ly/2pkbHg</a> to book your tickets.<br />
<br />
Learn to cook like the experts with the experts. Gain an appreciation of wine at the informative Riedel Decanter Bar. Experience a world of new taste sensations at the Good Food & Wine Show. Discover mouth watering recipes, see live cooking demonstrations and sample some of Australia’s best produce.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852407149445479488.post-43465134289611892332009-10-29T11:10:00.000+10:002009-10-29T11:10:49.800+10:00There is always a way !! - Hot Water<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7f6y8NS9f8PPkrdzbBui4JNc6-msBEfP8KV_llmQcnVURTwxyIRYS1NLUYkGWlywWV0-Jlh_ydVSADcTq-1B2xcuW_66HDO3RjiUIlG6cohyphenhyphenBP5c7Td18s8bb0bnaBVzwRYuQpFJICu_D/s1600-h/Hot+Water.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7f6y8NS9f8PPkrdzbBui4JNc6-msBEfP8KV_llmQcnVURTwxyIRYS1NLUYkGWlywWV0-Jlh_ydVSADcTq-1B2xcuW_66HDO3RjiUIlG6cohyphenhyphenBP5c7Td18s8bb0bnaBVzwRYuQpFJICu_D/s320/Hot+Water.bmp" /></a><br />
</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852407149445479488.post-46207194749158848242009-10-27T16:08:00.001+10:002009-10-27T16:12:23.006+10:00Seniors on a Road Trip !!!While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant, and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table, and she didn't miss them until they had been driving for about forty minutes. By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around, in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses. <br />
<br />
<br />
All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained, and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn't let up for a single minute. To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant. As the woman got out of the car, and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her, “While you're in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card.” <br />
<br />
This coming week is National Senior Mental Health Week. You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable Senior to show you care. <br />
<br />
Well — my job is done.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852407149445479488.post-12042997834087639022009-09-28T11:54:00.001+10:002009-09-28T12:01:11.985+10:00PAY PROTECTOR HELPS YOUNG JOURNALISTThe national pay protector has helped secure $10,000 back-pay for a young radio journalist who performed the work of a graded journalist but was incorrectly classified and paid as a cadet.<br />
<br />
The young female journalist worked part-time in Tweed Heads for Radio 97AM, 104.1FM and 103.5FM.<br />
The Fair Work Ombudsman helped the journalist launch a small claims application in the Chief Industrial Magistrate’s Court of NSW against her former employer, Tweed Radio and Broadcasting Co Pty Ltd.A Fair Work inspector also made submissions on her behalf in court.<br />
<br />
Chief Industrial Magistrate Gregory Hart ruled that the 25-year-old should have been paid as a graded journalist, rather than a cadet, because of the nature of the duties she performed.<br />
He ordered the company to reimburse her $10,000.<br />
<br />
Chief Industrial Magistrate Hart found that for most of the time the journalist was on duty, she was the only person in the newsroom and it was clear she “was not receiving training or any significant supervision.”<br />
He found her “duties went well beyond that of simply reading the news bulletins and extended to the research, preparation and drafting of such bulletins”.<br />
<br />
Further, the Court was “satisfied that she was given tasks to perform which were the tasks that would normally be performed by a Journalist Grade 1, Band 1” under the <i>Commercial Radio – Journalists Award 1999</i>.<br />
<br />
“The Award itself provides that in the case of regular part-time work, the lowest rate of pay is that set for a Journalist Grade 2 under Band 1,” Chief Industrial Magistrate Hart found.<br />
He ruled that the journalist’s pay should have been based on the minimum hourly rate for a Grade 2 journalist ($18.77), rather than the cadet rate ($13.35).<br />
<br />
Fair Work Ombudsman NSW Director Mark Davidson says the case highlights the care employers need to ensure they classify employees correctly.<br />
<br />
“We were happy to help this young woman secure this significant amount of back-pay, but ideally she should have been classified correctly in the first place,” he said.<br />
<br />
Source: <a href="http://j.mp/DYdud">http://j.mp/DYdud</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0